RED RANGER

Saturday was a pretty normal day, so I thought. Michelle and I went out to eat Saturday night, and while finishing up my tasty steak IT HAPPENED AGAIN! Yes, meat was stuck in my esophogas. I could breath and I could talk, but I could not swallow anything...not even a drop of water. Knowing what was going to happen I drove just up Tara Blvd to Southern Regional Hospital, and I walked into the ER. Yes, this has become too common of a ritual for me. (I think the 5th time) The normal stuff happens: they get copies of license and drivers license and take your temperature yada yada yada....(Good thing I really am not dying, because we really know we have to get all that paper work...never mind me I am just choking, people!!)

I was finally taken back to my room which I shared with another patient on the other side of the little curtain. She was pregnant, and they were trying to hear the baby's heart beat and had the machined WAY turned up. It kind'a sounded like a loud, bad, garage, rock band....It was very annoying. It finally stopped. (No, not the heart beat which they heard but the loud noise I kept hearing from the machine)

They usually have to call the G.I. doctor and they come in and open up the G.I. lab and down my throat they go. (pushing down or retrieving the meat stuck in my throat) Don't worry they always give me GOOD STUFF, so you really wouldn't care if they wanted to drive a school bus down your throat. My "dinner" while at the ER started with some Ativan. This was for "anxiety"... Like you wouldn't be anxious if you couldn't swallow a drop of water without it coming up !!!! Let's just say it makes you kind'a get cozy and start to enjoy the lack of comfort from the cold, metal gurney. I hear the awaited news I longed for, "The doctor has been mobilized." What is this a SCI-FI movie?? (which meant the doctor, that was on call and enjoying his expensive dinner downtown, is on his way to yank this piece of steak out of the idiots throat..that would be me.) He finally gets there and they are basically gonna go down with some tube (that has a camera on the end of it to take pictures which I can show you..HA) and yank the meat out or push it down into my stomach. What a pleasant visual. Anyway, before doing this the good stuff is administered. Demerol is added to my IV. What joys this added to my soul. No, I am not a junkie, but I do enjoy an occasional dose of demerol. (of course under a physicians care only) This makes you happy and not care that they about to come down your throat with a rota-rooter!! Anyway, I was not being still and wouldn't stop talking even with all that medicine. Imagine that?? Well, after some versed, I was officially in LA-LA Land...

We finally got home around 1:00AM....This is a real fun way to spend your Saturday evenings, you know? Anyway, I guess I will have to go the doctor and have them stretch my esophogas again. That is just too wrong. It's a hereditary thing. Maybe they can replace my "innards" with stretch-rubber stuff....I am over the late ER visits...

I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE PICTURES MY SICK WIFE TOOK OF ME IN MY TIME OF NEED AND SICKNESS...SHE CLAIMS THAT I BEGGED HER TO TAKE THEM..WHO WOULD YOU BELIEVE??? WE KNOW SHE IS PICTURE-TAKING HAPPY.......

LATER PEOPLE

AND REMEMBER.....CHEW YOUR FOOD THOROUGHLY

Posted by TOM on Sunday, August 06, 2006 at 3:14 PM | Permalink